Weakness.

My Relief Society President gave an excellent lesson on Sunday that I am pretty sure was directed straight to me. She talked about making Pigs Fly. Let me explain. Her point was that, there are a lot of things in this life that are hard. A lot of things that need to be done.  To start we have to get our Priorities straight. I need to change. Goals need to be set. And then at the end of it all there is Success.
Now if you know me well at all you know I am not an immaculate house keeper. Actually, I am closer to down right messy. I always have been. I am not proud of it and am often embarrassed when people come over unannounced and my house is a disaster. One day while I was pondering over my dilemma,  I may have pinpointed why I am this way. When I was growing up I got the easy way out. My siblings, including my sister, had to spend many long hours on the farm. I cried/threw a fit and got my way, which was to stay home and sleep a bit longer. On the condition that while the rest were at the farm, I was helping my mother clean. Well, cleaning isn't actually what we did. I cleaned the bathroom and was rewarded with a trip to my friends house to spend the rest of the day. I was rewarded for very little work. My growing mind associated doing little work with a big reward. So why work any harder than you absolutely have to when you get a reward anyway.
So how is this effecting my life right now? Well, I do small chores that will at least tell my family I did something for the day and then I spend the rest of the day doing what I want to do, not what needs to be done. And if I am expected to do more, I get anxiety and stare out the window wishing my life was different.
Well to say the least, I am sick of my life. I am sick of my house controlling my emotions. I am sick of being unable/embarrassed to have friends come over. I am done. I want to change. Even now, as I sit here writing, I am panicking just a little. How am I going to overcome 32 years of the same habit? How is this post going to be received by my small audience? But, I also don't care. I have to start sometime and there is no time like the present.
I am going to make small goals which eventually turn into big ones which will eventually lead to control over my life. That is what I am aiming for.
To help me remember my goal I made a little subway art. Nothing too extravagant, but it's enough to remind me to keep going.

Wish me Luck! My life is about to change and it will hurt and be painful. But, I have learned that nothing beautiful comes without a lot of hard work and pain.

New Bike!

Cait got a new bike yesterday. I bought it a long time ago but it has been sitting in Manti waiting to come to its new home. We had to put some goop in the back tire to plug a hole but I think it needs a new tube cause it's not holding air very well. But she looks stinking cute on it. 

I couldn't leave these two out of the picture taking. They were having so much fun. Miss Belle looks so happy, doesn't she? She had two problems yesterday with taking pictures. #1 The sun was in her face, #2 she says she has the Flu's. She had a stuffy nose yesterday and is so sure that it is the flu. 

Lagoon!

Every year the girls get to dance at Lagoon. Sometimes we stay, sometimes we don't. I must of struck a cord with David this year when I asked because he agreed to stay and play. I think the idea of being able to take Dawson on most of the rides was a big plus for him.
The girls danced beautifully and we had tons of fun. I even, finally, got to get my old-timey picture done. I have wanted one for forever. Only problem, I look ridiculous! I don't know what was going on with my face but I look like Sloth from the Goonies.

 This is our Polygamist family. No joke! We do lots of things with my sister in law Heather. Lots without her husband. One time we were at Temple Square with all the kids, and we overheard several people making comments about David being a polygamist. So since then we play it up. Yesterday he even called the boys Moses and Nephi. Hilarious!

She's 9!

Cait turned 9 yesterday and I can't believe it. Dave keeps reminding me that that is halfway to moving out.  And if I thought these last 9 years went really fast, I better hold on cause the next 9 will be faster.
We had a good time as a family last night. No distractions, no getting ready for a party, we just got to have fun. We went to Applebee's first and then to the city pool. Good times!

David does a really good job of getting our kids an awesome birthday breakfast. There was no way Cait was going to let him forget. So she got three enormous doughnuts and OJ. If you look close you can see fog rising from the middle of the stack. David put a cup of OJ in the middle of the doughnuts with dry ice. Very cool and wildly accepted.

If you can't tell what this, is I don't blame you. She got to go through the spanking machine. Very fun for all of us, not so fun for her. 

This was her favorite present. A bucket full of "grown-up" craft supplies. No more puff balls and pipe cleaners for her. She gets to sew and make earrings and do iron ons. She was super excited.

She got a birthday treat at Applebee's, including all the staff singing her the birthday song. She was so embarrassed, but we made her sit up tall and not hide in her seat. I think she secretly loves the attention.

This is what we saw when we got home from the pool. A little spike white tail deer. It was in the middle of the road and then hopped into the neighbors back yard and then hopped out. I was glad I already had my camera out and ready. 

Flag Football

My Buddy is loving Flag Football. He asked me the other day if he can play again next year! He is very aware that he is not the best player on his team. The kid standing behind him, in the top picture, is the fastest kid I have ever seen. He will be amazing when he gets to high school. I will have to remember his name (Gabe M.) so when he becomes a pro Daws can say, "Hey I played flag football with him."

My only peeve about it is that the coaches are so bent on winning, that Dawson plays maybe ten minutes of the whole hour long game. I could understand only playing the good kids if you were getting your butt kicked, but they creamed the Dolphins in this game 48-0. And they beat the Bears today 22-0. Let my scrawny little boy play for Pete's Sake. David said he would talk to the coaches if Dawson starts to complain, but as of right now he loves it, so we will let it be. But as a mother, it breaks my heart. :(

Happy Birthday To Me

I turned 32 yesterday. I am not totally happy with this age but it is growing on me.
I had a pretty good day yesterday. Super relaxing and no expectations. We read, slept, drove to SLC and back, had wonderful steak for dinner, and had good company with my sister and family. I got only one present yesterday- A Shamrock fleece blanket (my sister gave me a spa gift card too, but I meant from my family). It was on clearance at Joann's. :) However, my favorite present is on its way. I got a Jo Totes bag for my camera. I can't wait till it gets here. Hopefully Friday? I am so excited! And I am on a waiting list for a new lens for my camera. Also very exciting but who knows when I will get that, it is out of stock everywhere.

All in all a really great day. 

Football

I never imagined Dawson playing football. He is so scrawny, and afraid of the ball. But he is loving every minute of it. He loves being with the boys! I think all the toughness in football validates his need to be aggressive. He is enjoying it way more than he enjoyed baseball and he has only had two practices. I can't wait to see him in action during a game. 

I adore both of these shots. The bottom one is my favorite. How are you supposed to catch a ball with your eyes closed?